Going through the daily grind is tough because I often just see the top portion of work instead of the latter. As one of those workers pulling weight, my responsibility and load does not entirely change. I think remembering who my real boss is will help a lot in navigating through work.
I’m also finding that my focus blurs when I don’t get adequate sleep, nutrition, and time in with Jesus in the word and prayer. Opening myself to him and what he has to say about everything.
Today (5/8/2013) was just so mundane. Work felt routine and dry. There was no life throughout the day if I were to be completely honest. I got things done, but there was no joy, no focus, no heart. Just work. It was tiring and exhausting, yet I didn’t really do what I wanted to do nor did I enjoy it.
I came back home pretty discouraged. Just tired from the day wanting to check out, sleep, eat, or just be foolish with my time. After dinner, I surfed the net for a bit, but I figured maybe it was a good time to shut it off, read what I feel Jesus wants me to read, and rest. I started reading Romans because I felt like there were sins I knew in my mind I was drifting towards such as lust, sloth, fear of man, fear of failure, identity in performance, etc. and I remembered that Romans is brutally clear about the hopelessness of man apart from Jesus. I wanted to see what Jesus would have to say about that and what to do about it. I’m so grateful that Romans is so amazingly hopeful and helpful despite it’s brutal honesty about the evilness of my heart, nature, and soul apart from Christ. Romans 6 is a refreshing reminder of my identity in Christ – dead to sin and alive to him! I can put off the old man though my flesh will try to retaliate because the battle is won by Jesus and sin no longer has power or dominion over me as a slave master. It no longer owns me, but like P. Nick said, we are rescued men. Living in the reality of that is new and unfamiliar, but life giving.