I’m deeply disturbed to say the least. Doing research on the history of the Republic and People’s Republic have been really eye-opening, yet really depressing.
Reading about the humanity and complexity of the leaders of the movements really provides an honest assessment of human nature – even those in power and position. Sin is prevalent – and throw in the responsibility to develop a nation amidst chaos and turmoil and it gets way messier.
I was expecting to have a nice, clean account of how things went down – a few nice battles (death and casualties to be expected). But to hear about the lusts of the leader’s hearts, their conflicted desires, their attempts for national identity and collective glory are repulsive.
Here’s why I say that. For an identity, these men were willing to sacrifice their families. For an identity, these men were willing to sacrifice their country. For an identity, they were willing to put the lives of others in the face of death. All for what? Like Jadakiss, why?
For identity. For the ability to be a sovereign nation. For the ability to have respect, dignity, and acceptance from the international community. For the ability to say that you were Chinese and without needing to feel inferior to the White man or your neighboring Asian to think of you any less. To not be vulnerable to oppression and for your people to be stable in an identity that meant security in every way – ideologically, politically, socially, economically, collectively, and individually.
And what is the legacy now?
The legacy are two distinct countries – still debating over the issue of identity. Over what China is and who are we as a people.
I pray for the motherlands. I pray for its leaders. I pray for its people – my people, His people. I pray they would find their identity in Jesus. He has paid for all of our bloodshed. He is the ultimate king who has given us his identity and his status. We need to strive no more. We find our rest and identity in him. The massive implications of this are enormous and world-changing, I believe. I pray that God would sweep the motherlands in revival for his glory. Lives changed, legacies changed, the world changed – especially the men.
I see the legacy this has left on my family – especially my dad. I think he would take a bullet for the country before being willing to wash the dishes for mom. I’m tired of my dad misplacing his identity in this false identity of a nation – no matter how righteous in his eyes, are still stained by sin and blood. An identity I do not have boast of though I care deeply about – for the sake of my family and others. This identity has done nothing for him. It has robbed him of his joy, his life, and his years. It has robbed him of freedom that Jesus offers him and for that I hate it deeply. I am on the brink of seething disgust every time he defends this repulsive political party that means jack shit to Jesus. I’m angry that this false identity has promised him life and hope that it does not offer. I’m angry that it’s lies are enough to satisfy his need for identity, meaning, and significance. I’m angry that the sin has bled into other areas that has lead to ethnocentrism, racism, and just vain discussion.
And I love my dad. I want to see him free. I pray for his freedom and I will do my best by God’s grace to fight for his freedom in the land where it boasts of freedom, but enables much bondage.