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Journaling 5/25/2013

There is a point in war when you face defeat at the hands of your enemy. Casualty hits and you are shocked at your vulnerability – or rather the presence of your vulnerability all along.

What’s more shocking is when you find yourself having thoughts of joining the enemy even though their promises are lies they sound appealing when things are going hard and they promise an escape. In reality, they lead you to a trap to not only destroy you, but your entire unit and to try to overtake as many as they can.

The chilling realization of war has been on my mind a lot lately. The fog of war definitely sets in later in the week than earlier. The ground war is difficult. I know the enemy’s tactics, but he is so sly and discreet. He uses my flesh and weaknesses against me as well as waiting for the opportunity to strike.

Keeping vigilant is only purposeful if you are able to counter-attack. What I am finding is that I have no power to do so. However, it is Jesus power that overcomes. It is Jesus power to sift out the flesh that works with the enemy from within. It is Jesus who disarms the enemy around me. It is Jesus who has already won the war and is putting out the insurgency as they foolishly try to take men down in His side. Casualties will come. Pain and suffering will come. This is war. My job is to stay close to Jesus as He has kept me and sealed me. My job is to be aware when the enemy has planted IED’s in my mind and heart disguised as sin that will not only destroy me, but also those around me. My job is to seek and destroy any sign of opposition within myself that hails loyalty to the enemy against my king Jesus.

This war has been nothing like I have ever seen. Ephesians 6, Romans 7 & 8, and many other parts of scripture have been so helpful with fighting.

Jesus has been so good and faithful to me and others in this battle. He leads the way. He empowers us. He knows us and he is with us in his battle. He points out to me when I start to deviate and where I should navigate. He reminds me to see him face to face, not just to fight with him, but to know him and abide in him and then to respond in loyalty and battle.

I’ve never seen Jesus in this way before – as a powerful King, warrior, and friend. Never have I seen such humble power and extravagance apart from him. I ask that he would help me kill my flesh daily so I may find true life in him.

Jesus, war is hard, but you remain close! You heal me when I get shot. You restore me when I have been unfaithful and have been traitorous. You take me back from enemy territory to remind me I’m on your side now and then you bring me back to the battlefield and fight with you as you defeat Satan and his crew. Jesus keep me close. Help me to put on the full Ephesians 6 armor. Teach me how to fight. Teach me how to rely on your power. Teach me how to stay close to you in war. Teach me how to follow when death is all around and you are the only source of life. Teach us as a people how to fight together and not with each other. Our enemy is not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers in the heavenly places. Our enemy is stronger than we people are. Jesus you are stronger than the enemy. Lead us into the sound of battle like marines. Help us not to fear death to self for in you we find life. The enemy has no more tactics or power over us. You are victorious and he is defeated. Help us to remember that.

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