Tonight was the end of a lot of struggle and I think spiritual warfare.
There was a lot of tension in my mind the past month or so about being in two communities. There has been times I have been selfish, have had selfish desires, and selfish thoughts, but last night and tonight just blew that all out of the water.
I decided this week to want to bring into light the struggles I’ve been going through to both communities about this tension and amazingly I was met with similar, yet distinct responses.
From Mars Hill, I got good feedback about not wanting to feel like this decision will make or break life – it’s ok to go through transition phases. Also, going where God is leading is not sinful or selfish, but obedient and good.
From Trinity, I think I had selfish desires and mistrust or fear completely sifted out. I felt that going to Mars Hill were at times difficult because of what my brothers and sisters at Trinity may have thought of me or whatever. However, bringing it up with the guys have helped tremendously. Not only did they respond in the same way as Mars Hill, but reminded me that if I were to transition out, they are glad that I am going where the Lord is leading and are open to me coming in and out & not being ‘shut out’ of Trinity forever.
Seeing that unity in the body really rocked me and amazed me tonight and reflecting back on the past two nights, I’ve realized how immensely blessed I am and what a freedom it is to walk into the light with people that love Jesus and love me. It’s unbelievable. It really is.
I don’t know specifically what this may look like from now on. I know that I will continue to go to community group and do life with Mars Hill. As for what this means with Trinity, I think I may gradually step away for a season and drop in from time to time to catch up with those that I have grown close to. But that’s just a rough idea right now – I don’t know what will happen in the months to come.
Anyway, things from Scripture that popped into my mind tonight were these:
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:7)
And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:11-16)